…or, what if God (and Buddha) was one of us.
If you’re still familiar with one-hit wonder Joan Osbourne’s If God Was One of Us, then you may have played around with that thought. Did you imagine the earthbound Jesus as the holier version of King Midas, who turned everything he touched into gold? Did His footsteps turn the hot asphalt He walked on into holy ground? Was He even remotely human, in every sense of the word?
What if He was just chillin’ in a rented studio apartment, with Buddha as his roomie?
Before I proceed, let it be known that I never liked harem anime of any sort, be it the conventional harem or a reverse one. There are two exceptions though: Kyou Kara Maoh and this one, Ristorante Paradiso.(…I’d like to explain why my exceptions are a bit…well, strange, but that’s besides the point.
Here’s the gist: A young woman named Nicoletta searches for her estranged mother, and finds herself in a popular restaurant in Rome, staffed by a group of bespectacled, older gentlemen who, despite their age, seem to attract a number of fans of the female persuasion.
I have to confess that I couldn’t help but cringe while writing the above paragraph. But no, this isn’t the same cringe as the Dragonball Evolution-type of cringe. Rather, this is a cringe of guilt. As in “this is horribly wrong but I like it so much” cringe.
I’ve put myself on a hiatus from anime since last January for a couple of reasons: sheer fatigue and lack of any interesting series to watch. Sure, Gundam 00 was already good enough and Miss Sumeragi still elicits a fangirl scream out of me, but I’ve already overdosed myself on mecha and shonen. I had to take a break.
Then I bumped into this certain anime figure from a hobbyist blog that I frequent, Tomopop:
I heartily agree with one of the tags used in Tomopop’s article
It was already announced quite some time ago (almost a year, in fact, but was drowned in obscurity), and just when I thought the whole thing was just a hoax out came a handful of screenshots for the fabled DS version of everyone’s favorite bitch, Ragnarok Online:
But don’t be fooled: Ragnarok Online DS is predominantly offline. Does that mean, then, that we should refer to it as Ragnarok Online DS Offline? Or Ragnarok Online Offline DS? Feh, whatever.
To make things simpler, Ragnarok Online DS, like most DS RPGs, focus primarily on an offline single-player story campaign, and the only online action DS users will get is the three-person Tower of Mirages online mode. It’s not even clear whether this is done over the Nintendo Wi-Fi connection, or just plain multiplayer where all participants are in the same room (like Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates).
Here are the details of the game, taken from sites 1up and Go Nintendo:
- gameplay remains closely related to PC title
- offline story mode is main focus
- Play as Ares, a mild-mannered kid who wants to start up his own guild and be a great adventurer like his father
- recruit party members
- takes place in the realm of Rune Midgard
- build up characters to gain new jobs, skills
- mostly stylus control
- tap to pick up items, attack enemies
- draw circles and more for spells
- two brand-new jobs (Dark Knight can do special moves that drain HP, Shaman has various magic skills)
- Online play: three people team up to take on the Tower of Mirages, a 50 floor random dungeon
- December 18th release in Japan
- no US plans yet
New character classes? Awesome TWEWY-like control scheme? Cool beans.
If the existence of a handheld RO was reported…say, years ago, when I was still interested in the game and it wasn’t quite yet raped throughly, I’d be all happy wappy over this news and despairing over the fact that it won’t probably see an English language release.
But my days with RO have already ended, so I’ll just say this: Meh.
Update: It’s confirmed, the multiplayer online mode will be hosted by Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection, so partying up the usual way is still a go.